Although I was lucky enough to enjoy Wally Boag on stage a number of times over the years (including what may have been his final performance in 2005), I had the opportunity to speak with him just once. It was back in the early 1990s and I was hunting down every old-timer I could find for my first book of Mouse Tales. Wally declined a lengthy interview, confessing that he was writing his own memoir (it'd take nearly 20 more years, but Wally's book would finally see the light of day).
I've always regretted that our brief conversation that afternoon didn't last longer, because Wally held a unique place in Disneyland history. He was the park's first celebrity. Handpicked by Walt to headline the Golden Horseshoe Revue, Wally was the first of what Disney envisioned would be numerous “name acts” who would call Disneyland their regular home.
Walt built a theater in Fantasyland where guests could buy tickets to watch the Mouseketeers and other big-name acts, and he drew up plans to turn the Main Street Opera House into a television soundstage. Instead, Disney found it more feasible to limit big-name acts to special guest appearances. The theater switched to showing cartoons, and the closest the Opera House got to show biz was temporarily housing sets from the movie Babes in Toyland.
Wally, however, stuck around—for 27 years. He had one of the few private dressing rooms on property, but few other star trappings. In the early days of Disneyland, in fact, he was one of the gang, willing to pitch in however needed between his sets at “The 'Shoe,” whether as impromptu gunslinger, pirate, sketch performer, or even reporter for the park's monthly cast member newsletter. Wally's monthly piece in The Disneylander, precursor to the Disneyland Line, usually pretended to address a newsworthy topic, such as the latest construction project. But that was usually just an excuse for a barrage of one-liners (“As for the Autopia, the whole Los Angeles Freeway system is being tied into it. There will be six lanes of traffic coming into Disneyland, and none out”). He ended his columns, “Pleasant Buffoonery to you all.”
He did have his critics. Some co-workers complained, arguing the newsletter should be reserved for actual news. Wally responded with one of his most creative pieces, “Seriously,” from the May 1958 edition of The Disneylander. Enjoy.
Preface
Some of the readers of this magazine have made the comment that I couldn't write a serious column if I tried. So, for this issue, I have decided to write dramatic prose.
During the night, between the echoes of the thunder and the flashes of lightning, we sat in our home (1) and waited for the dreaded event to happen, suddenly…
Footnotes
(1) The home is located in Kumb Quat Acre in Corona del Mar. It's one of 324 houses on this one acre. We have all modern conveniences; a modern garbage disposal unit in our back yard, it's a goat; two dishwashers, my son, Lawrence, and my daughter, Tracy; and a clothes washer, my wife, whose name slips my mind at the moment. Outside—where else—we have a two car garage and one car (2) which is painted…
(2) I bought the car, a Thunderbird, second hand. It's so old, the speedometer has Roman numerals on it and it has a gauntlet compartment instead of a glove compartment. Even the upholstery is turning gray. The insurance policy (3) on it, covers accidents, theft and Indian raids. I got scalped the other…
(3) I have another new insurance policy. If I'm driving a 1914 convertible Essex with a self-starter, on an Orange County road, going 70 miles per hour, in a North-Easterly direction, during a Santana, and if a falling Russian satellite (4) hits me on the head, I get paid a lump sum except when…
(4) Russia is a strange country. They name a street after you one day (5) and chase you down it the next. Did you know that now they've invented…
(5) I was on the $64,000 Question and won a lifetime pen, Alcatraz, and my rent (6) free for six hours. All I really wanted was the isolation booth for my mother-in-law because the booths have hot and cold running…
(6) I remember when I started in show business. The landlady came in and gave me three days to pay the rent. I took New Years, Father's Day (7) and Labor Day. So the next day she threw…
(7) Father's Day was invented to give stores a chance to sell their left-over Xmas ties (8) and I got one that had a picture of a woman who was…
(8) The trouble with bow ties is, by the time you learn to tie them, you're too old (9) to wear them, and if you're too old to…
(9) Old age is alright, but there is no future (10) in it, unless you…
(10) They predict that in the future, man will be able to do without glasses (11). He'll drink it right out of the bottle and then…
(11) Glasses were invented by Benjamin Franklin, who was also famous for his sayings (12) and the fact that he invented electricity. But it was the man who invented the meter that made all the money, except for the iceman who…
(12) Benjamin Franklin's most famous saying was “Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and Pleasant Buffoonery to you all.”
