FBI agent Kip Killian (Will Arnett) is getting a mission review in which he learns that a secret squad—consisting of three guinea pigs, a mole, and a housefly—has successfully infiltrated the home of one Saber (Bill Nighy), among the FBI’s most wanted scumbags. The squad did this by using advanced technology for getting in, getting out, and copying key files off Saber’s laptop. Where the mole uses advanced decryption techniques to discover the hidden contents.
And Killian learns this directly from the animals because it turns out they can talk. His response? Because it appears they stole the wrong file off of the computer, their program is to be discontinued and the animals shipped to labs for experimentation. Kind of reminds me of the old joke about the talking dog being sold for $5 because he’s a liar.
Rather than facing life in the lab, everybody makes a run for it. High jinks ensue as they struggle to regroup, and once they do, they still have to take down Saber and his plan to destroy the world (hint: this summer’s second group of malignant transforming kitchen appliances are involved and they’re actually better looking than Michael Bay’s indistinguishable crew).
© Disney Enterprises, Inc.
It should come as no surprise that there is almost nothing in this movie that will appeal to adults. Screenwriting couple Cormac and Mirianne Wibberley have been the pens behind some of the worst formulaic action-adventure movies of the last decade (The 6th Day, I Spy, the National Treasure movies, Bad Boys II) and they apparently decided that things would at least feel original if they wrapped their tired formulas in rodentia and targetted the result at people too young to have yet seen any of the thousand other movies covering similar ground. Fortunately, Disney apparently recognized that they didn’t much need a director and so gave that job to Hoyt Yeatman, a very accomplished visual effects artist and supervisor (he’s actually the first director of a live action Walt Disney Pictures release in a very long time to have an Oscar on the mantlepiece).
On balance, these conflicting forces of mediocrity and quality seem to balance out. Yes, G-Force is an rather stupid movie, but it looks good doing it. Let’s consider the movie from two perspectives: Adults and young kids.
For adults there just isn’t much of interest beyond a few sight gags. The human cast is filled with some accomplished comedians and comedic actors but they are given absolutely nothing funny to do. With Will Arnett as a humorless FBI agent, it is hard to imagine that there was no comedic undertone—but there just isn’t. Zach Galifianakis unfortunately follows up his wonderful performance in The Hangover by playing straight man to CGI rodents. Poor Bill Nighy chews the scenery like he always does, but finally falls flat on his face in looking as though he’s trying too hard.
There are two moments, however, over the course of 90 minutes that show a potential for what could have been. After escaping, the three guinea pigs—Darwin (Sam Rockwell), Juarez (Penélope Cruz), and Blaster (Tracy Morgan)—end up in pet shop, in a cage already occupied by another guinea pig named Hurly (Jon Favreau) and, most significantly, an insane hamster named Bucky (voiced by Steve Buscemi). Bucky is a character that needed to be on screen more. When they make a Disney Channel animated series out of this movie, it should revolve around Bucky. Unfortunately, you only get a few minutes of Bucky.
© Disney Enterprises, Inc.
The other great moment comes at the end when all the secrets behind the massive plot for world destruction are revealed. The truth is so deliciously surreal, and counter to the grain and tone of everything leading up to it that finally at 80 minutes in, the adult audience is given a glimmer of what could have been—if only it weren’t for those pesky children you’ll likely be surrounded by while watching it.
And, if they’re young enough, they’ll find nothing to complain about . The demographic of the movie may be narrowly targeted (say 8-11, mostly boys) but it mostly hits the target with no heavy morals. Lots of movement, bright colors, and the occasional fart joke. Scenes of peril are never too perilous (though a warning that there is one scene where it appears a main character has been killed; adults will see through it while children may not). Events are never so complex as to risk leaving anybody behind. In other words, the movie could be retitled to G-Force: A Primer for Dumb Summer Blockbusters, Grades 2-5.
Finally, a word on 3D. Now that 3D is firmly entrenched for animated titles, “the cinema” is entering the next phase of seeing if the return of 3D is going to be transformational or simply transient. Over the next two years you’re going to see an increasing number of live action 3D titles (pretty much all genre pictures), and every time you go to a theater and pay the extra couple bucks for a 3D screen instead of a traditional screen, you’re casting a vote for more of the same. Just something to keep in mind if you’ll be checking out G-Force in the theaters.
The new generation of 3D does carry over reasonably well to live action. There was a faint blurriness but no so much that I can be sure it was from the extra D and not simply a slightly out-of-focus projector. However, except for some “poke the audience in the eye” gags, nothing at all would be lost seeing G-Force in 2D.
G-Force is a Walt Disney Pictures presentation
- Wide release on Friday, July 24.
- Directed by Hoyt Yeatman
- Screenplay by Cormac Wibberley and Marianne Wibberley.
- Starring Sam Rockwell, Penélope Cruz, Tracy Morgan, Jon Favreau, Zach Galifianakis, Bill Nighy, Will Arnett, Steve Buscemi
- Rated PG for some mild action and rude humor.
- Running time 89 minutes
- Alex’s Rating: 6 out of 10
PS: Nicolas Cage provides his voice talents as the mole, Speckles. He does a wonderful job in creating a voice that is unique, compelling, and nothing like his own. It makes one wonder how the producers felt when such a big star agreed to do the movie and then decided he’d alter his voice so that nobody would recognize him. Truly, it is such a good piece of voice work I almost feel bad for ridiculing every awful accent he has abused audiences with over the years (yes, there’s still bitterness about Con Air).
PPS: The other Disney movie released in the past year that featured a guinea pig was Adam Sandler’s Bedtime Stories from last Christmas (read Alex’s review).
