Hello, I must be going,
I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going.
I’m glad I came, but just the same I must be going.
Ta Ta.
Yes, after 40 months and 80 articles, this will be my farewell column on MousePlanet. What a past couple of weeks it’s been, huh? First, we said goodbye to Charlie Sheen. Then, it was Oprah. We even had the coming and going of the end of the world in there. Now… me? Yes, I blame global warming.
I thought about beginning this column with “Now it’s time to say goodbye to all our company…” Hopefully, you remember that sign off from the Mickey Mouse Club? Yeah, it’s a tired phrase and has probably been used by every Disney writer who has ever moved on—but it’s certainly fitting.
Instead, I opted for the lines, above, voiced by Groucho Marx in the film Animal Crackers—and no, I’m not quite old enough to have seen it in its initial release but thanks for asking. I first heard it years ago as the intro to a radio show and, somehow, I find the lyrics fitting. Plus, when I hear them delivered by Groucho, they always make me chuckle.
Truth be told, I’m not very good at saying, “Goodbye”—it’s never been my strong suit. I much prefer slinking out the door muttering, “See ya later” to the few within earshot. Nevertheless, because I’m moving on, I feel an obligation to sign off and say, “Thanks” to the great many people that have made my brief stint at MousePlanet so enjoyable.
You’re probably asking why I would even think of giving up a gig as rewarding as this one. A reader once wrote and told me I had the perfect job: I’m paid for voicing my opinions. When you put it like that, I can understand why you might be suspicious of my sanity.
The bottom line is that it’s mainly a time issue—as in there’s just not enough of it for me to devote the time necessary to turn these articles out on a bi-weekly basis. “Pshaw” you might say (if you do, indeed, use the word “pshaw” in your conversation), “I’ve read your drivel and it can’t take you more than five minutes to turn out this gibberish.” Unfortunately, at least for me, that’s not the case. Allow me to explain my process….
First, I need to come up with an idea for a column. With the breadth of Disney material out there, you’d think that would be easy. However, in my own weird way, I’d like the column premise to be fresh and at least somewhat original. In our Disney on-line community, there are no fewer than 81 billion websites, podcasts and blogs—finding something original to write about is not quite the piece of cake it seems, particularly for someone as un-clever as I am.
Sometimes, Disney cooperates and gives me the chance to provide an opinion on something newly announced, like the articles I wrote on Hyperion Wharf or D23. On other occasions, I tried to provide a service by explaining the ins and outs of a few of the more complex things like the Disney Dining Plans (Part 1 and Part 2) or Park Passes (I’m sort of proud of that one and I never really wanted to tackle it). Other articles were born of whimsy like my fictitious interview with Walt Disney (The Interview). The feedback on that one was almost exclusively positive, however, I did receive a couple of dissenting opinions. A few folks wrote telling me I got some of it wrong but they never explained which parts they disagreed with. I’ll be forever curious.
What else? Park Peeves was an idea hatched from watching my fellow guests and it turned into a quasi-franchise. At last count, I have authored four articles (and part of a book) on the subject.
I railed against the Fantasmic! Cutbacks and told you about a Fantasmic! Fiasco. I took a big risk with Back to the Future, which I intended to be a humorous lampooning of some things Disney might have in store for us in the not-too-distant future. Many recognized the satire but more than a few thought it was mean-spirited. (Me? Mean-spirited?) I had one email exchange, very early on a Saturday morning, with a West-coaster who thought it was the worst thing he had ever read. Somehow, the conversation turned to golf and we parted on amiable terms but I don’t think he ever appreciated the parody.
So… with this wealth of material out there, why is it so difficult to come up with a fresh topic every two weeks? I can’t tell you how many half-written articles I’ve dumped when I saw the same topic published elsewhere. Sometimes I’ll have one “in the can” and ready to publish when I see the same topic covered in another podcast, blog or newsletter—then it’s back to the drawing boards.
The second issue is the time needed for me to actually write the article. I can’t believe that writers ever used typewriters. I’d need gallons of Whiteout and miles of correction tape for each column. I know some of our writers can sit down and type up a column from their head directly into our Content Management System. I need a word processor… on steroids, please. My style, once I have a fresh idea, is to sit down at the computer and write the complete article start to finish. It may only take 15-20 minutes but I typically wind up with somewhere between 1,200 and 1,800 words that, when read, resemble the crazed ramblings of a lunatic on hallucinogens mixed with the random keystrokes from a dozen or so monkeys.
Over the next few days, I’ll open that document several times and review it top to bottom, editing, correcting and enhancing as I go. Each of these sessions will occupy me for 10-30 minutes and, after multiple sessions, the article is now fit (sort of) for human consumption. To say it takes me a while for each article is an understatement.
At this point in my life, real world issues are requiring too much of my time to allow the extensive time required to publish something you might actually read without tsk-tsking uncontrollably as you laugh at my typos and third grade grammar. For these reasons, this column, my 80th here on MousePlanet, will be my last… at least for a while.
Ah, there’s always an “out” isn’t there? I did say, “for a while.” There’s a chance, in the not-to-distant future that my personal situation could change for the better and allow me more time to devote to this particular passion. In a fit of what I can only think of as absolute madness, the MousePlanet management has extended an offer for me to return if and when my situation changes. Therefore, you may or may not be rid of me forever.
So… whether this is “So long for now” or “Goodbye forever” I’d be remiss if I didn’t thank a long list of people. I sincerely appreciated the opportunity afforded me to expand my love of all-things-Disney into this writing engagement. For that, I’ll always be grateful to Mark Goldhaber and Adrienne Vincent-Phoenix. I thank them for taking a chance on me and hope the product wasn’t too far below their expectations.
Very early in this engagement, Lani Teshima, our Managing Editor, spent an awful lot of time wading through my nonsense to help me find my “voice.” On numerous occasions, Andrew Rich or Tony Phoenix has stepped up to resolve a technical issue or help me figure out the process of uploading photos and generating the code necessary to insert them into my articles. Stephanie Wien has put up with the countless emails I send responding to readers and filtering those down to something manageable for the MousePlanet Mailbag column. Last, but certainly not least, Lisa Perkis has had the unenviable task of editing my column so what you see every other Friday is, at the least, readable. I thank you all.
I thank you, my readers. Whether you’re one of those who read on a regular basis or just stop by occasionally, I thank you for taking the time. There was a time I thought there might actually be a few dozen of you out there reading and my chest pumped out a bit. Then I asked for your votes for a series of the Best of Walt Disney World articles and was astounded when emails poured in by the hundreds—I had no idea.
Special thanks go out to those of you who not only read but also took the time to respond—with either an email or a post on MousePad. I can assure you I read every one of them and tried to reply when possible and appropriate. Your feedback, good or bad, is essential. Without it, writing is lonely work. I’m not sure how the other writers feel but I need some confirmation that what I put out there has some merit. If it’s not inspiring some thought, providing a laugh or rousing the need to tell me I’m wrong, I’ve failed.
Finally, I’d like to thank my friends and family who often provided me with concepts for articles and, in many cases, the anecdotes to be used to illustrate a point. I also need to put out a special thanks to my wife who often was asked, “Can you read this and tell me if it makes any sense?” It’s not easy being married to me but she does get to go to Walt Disney World fairly frequently.
While I haven’t reached the longevity of a few of my peers and predecessors, I think three-plus years and 80 articles isn’t too shabby a resume. And… who knows? I may not be done yet. At any rate, if you see me in the parks, say “Hello.”
As always, thanks for reading.
If you see me in the parks, stop and say, “Hello”. By the way, I’m the one in the back. Photo by Steve Russo.
