One of the earliest and loudest complaints about Disney’s California Adventure was that its creators cheaped out. That the disappointing second gate would have been a whole lot better if it had been given the proper, $1 billion budget that a fully fleshed-out theme park deserves. Its attractions would have been more elaborate and more numerous.
DCA’s impending billion-dollar makeover aims to hit the Reset button. The biggest single addition will be Radiator Springs Racers, a Cars-inspired fusing of Test Track-meets-the-Western River Expedition, with a rumored price tag of between $200 and $300 million. That would make it the most expensive single attraction in theme park history.
DCA obviously needs a big-time E-ticket attraction, but a quarter of a billion dollars for one ride? Wouldn’t it be better to add two or three $100-million attractions instead? Is it worth it?
Since the ride doesn’t exist yet, we can’t really examine whether it’s worth a certain price in terms of turnstile clicks or guest satisfaction. About all we can do is to look to the past and ask, do you get what you pay for?
Consider the Disneyland Resort’s additions over the last 10 years, keeping in mind each ride’s expected construction costs and their eventual return on investment:
Proposed budget: Under $25 million per attraction
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Honey, I Shrunk the Audience (1998) – A novel attraction in 1994. Unfortunately, Disneyland added it in 1998. More money would not have helped.
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California Screamin’, Golden Zephyr, Jumpin’ Jellyfish, King Triton’s Carousel, Maliboomer, Mulholland Madness, Orange Stinger, Sun Wheel (2001) – The poorly disguised carnival contraptions may have been inexpensive to build, but they’re so large and unsightly that they’ve cost the company a fortune—by feeding the public’s perception that DCA is nothing but carnival rides.
Again, if twice as much had been budgeted for each attraction, their fundamental problems would remain. Imagine a Maliboomer 360 feet high instead of 180. Or if Mulholland Madness lasted three minutes instead of one-and-a-half. Little return on investment.
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Golden Dreams, Superstar Limo (2001) – Their budgets slashed, Golden Dreams was downsized from an animatronic, Golden State-version of the American Adventure into a standard film better suited for the History Channel. Superstar Limo, furnished with minimal-tronics of second-rate TV stars, became an industry laughingstock and was shuttered after less than a year.
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It’s Tough to Be a Bug, MuppetVision 3D (2001) – Space fillers. See Honey, I Shrunk the Audience.
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Flik’s Flyers, Francis’ Ladybug Boogie, Heimlich’s Chew Chew Train, Tuck & Roll’s Drive ’em Buggies (2002) – The land’s wonderful, immersive theming momentarily tricks you into believing that there might actually be unique attractions inside. You’d be wrong.
More money (and space) could have been the difference, if the attractions were upgraded, expanded and designed to wow entire families, instead of solely toddlers.
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Monster’s Inc. Mike & Sulley to the Rescue (2006) – Cost over-runs actually pushed this dark ride over the $25 million mark, yet it’s a cute addition to DCA’s dead corner. It provided a temporary marketing hook, but not unique enough to lasting pull.
Proposed budget: $25-$50 million
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Rocket Rods (1998) – The New Tomorrowland of 1998 needed at least one all-new, highly marketable, E-ticket extravaganza. But an addition on the scale of Test Track would have consumed the budget for the entire land. Instead, WDI attempted to spend half of the millions that they should have by shoehorning a Test-Track-type ride on the old PeopleMover track, with its 30-year-old pylons, curving track, unbanked turns, and tight clearances into buildings. An unmitigated disaster.
E-tickets have to last. The E-tickets, along with major icons like castles, are what give a theme park its identity. They’re what’s splashed across the billboards, the brochures, the commercials. You can’t afford to have them just disappear.
Spending an extra $20 million before the ride opened—rather than afterwards, trying to salvage a doomed project—could have made all the difference in the world. Ambitious E-ticket attractions are never born of B-ticket budgets.
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Grizzly River Run (2001) – Sufficient funding helped make this one of DCA’s better rides, although it doesn’t stand out as much of a marketing draw because it’s so reminiscent of rafting rides at other theme parks.
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Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (2003) – A shrinking budget transformed what could have been a marquee E into a forgettable B. Its faraway location is so inconvenient that, like Splash Mountain, a Pooh ride had to be phenomenal to draw crowds to Disneyland’s back corner. The Pooh flume ride originally designed for the space may have done the trick. The Pooh ride from Tokyo certainly would have. Even a straight copy from Florida would have helped. Instead key elements were removed from WDW’s C-ticket ride, providing Disneyland with a Do-Not-C.
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Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters (2005) – The popular attraction showed that you didn’t need a huge budget to succeed, just set your sights properly. A great concept, good execution, high repeatability, and adequate funding add up to a sure-fire C.
Proposed budget: $50-$75 million
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Soarin’ Over California (2001) – DCA’s most expensive and best-received attraction showed that you can skimp on the queue and you can skimp on the building, but still hit one out of the park by delivering an immersive, exotic, family-friendly adventure.
The attraction couldn’t be any better, but you wonder if a little more spent on Soarin’s exterior, having it build up to (instead of camouflage) the grand adventure inside, might have made the park as a whole more marketable. After all, the ride, with more engaging queue, is even more popular in Florida. (But that also may have something to do with it being located in a park that draws about 40% more guests.)
Proposed budget: $75-$100 million
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Twilight Zone Tower of Terror (2004) – A marquee attraction that took a few penny-saving shortcuts over its East Coast inspiration. Hard-core fans notice the difference. But the resort’s target audience of more casual fans and vacationers ride it for the drops—and give both versions equally high marks.
The addition provided DCA with much-needed marketing images, but the big crowds didn’t last. Tower of Terror’s most important contribution was that it convinced Disney brass in Burbank that DCA was in desperate need of a park-wide Extreme Makeover. If DCA ever draws the 10 million visitors a year Disney expects, the Tower will help soak in those big crowds.
Proposed budget: $100+ million
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Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage (2007) – If anything, the return of the subs was Disneyland’s final “make good.” To save its good name, Disney spent an exorbitant sum restoring every inch of the park for its 50th anniversary, correcting a decade of abuse and neglect. Profits surged.
The last eyesore was the empty submarine lagoon, which couldn’t symbolized the park’s previously wayward ways than if it had one of those giant Light Magic floats bobbing in the middle of it. The subs were a last measure of payback. The final sorry and thank you. In a sense, cost was irrelevant. It had to be done, and it had to cost a lot. (That it’s hugely popular is almost a bonus.)
More than anything, the sub revival is the closest example of what’s at play here for Radiator Springs Racers and, in fact, the entire DCA redo. Disney can’t afford for this fix not to work.
Money may not guarantee success. But it’s a sign of good faith with the fans. And it sure helps in making sure an idea becomes the most effective attraction possible. You just have to hope you’re starting with the best possible idea.
Now, a Wash from Our Sponsors…
Not sure if we can blame overaggressive sponsors for this, or guests who are either dangerously unhygienic or astoundingly unintelligent.
Over the last few months, Disneyland has been installing small signs at the wash basins in the guest restrooms. The typical sign reads: “Wet hands and apply soap. Scrub hands and rinse. Dry hands thoroughly using paper towels. Hand washing tips provided by Brawny.”
Other signs are sponsored by Brawny’s sister brand, Sparkle paper towels. The park is actually instructing us how to wash our hands.
Price Hike?
Cast members have begun circulating rumors that the park admission will be hiked just before summer. Are you ready for $69 a pop?
Not-So-Merry-Go-Round
The discovery of an unusually high number of worn-out parts is putting the rehab of King Arthur’s Carrousel behind schedule, jeopardizing its anticipated April reopening. A blue tarp now wraps around the carousel to hide that horses are being removed.
According to a Fantasyland ride operator, when the ride finally reopens, the lead horse, “Jingles,” will be dedicated to Julie Andrews.
Good Job, Bob!
Finally, congratulations to pioneering Imagineer Bob Gurr on his long-overdue Window on Main Street. I intentionally held back on announcing the event last week, because I didn’t want to tarnish the occasion by pointing out the incredible coincidence that the man responsible for Disney’s first monorail—and most of those since—had nothing to do with the latest addition at Disneyland, the problematic Mark VII. The new Monorail Red arrived at the park nearly two months ago, and mechanics have been furiously trying to figure out how to fit it on the track ever since.
Late last week, Monorail Red was finally able to leave the Roundhouse and circle the track after-hours, until just before dawn. According to one participant in the tests, they were able to get Red out after “a lot of cutting, welding and praying.” He said one nagging problem was that the nose and tail were too wide and would scrape the platform in the Tomorrowland Station. As a remedy, they cut off the corners on both ends of the station platform.
On the bright side, an onlooker noticed that Marty Sklar and other Imagineers on hand for the Gurr ceremony made a side-trip into the long-shuttered Sleeping Beauty Castle. In recent weeks, Tony Baxter and John Lasseter were supposedly spotted making similar stop-overs, giving hope that the walk-through may reopen one day soon.
