In this week’s mailbag, staff writer Lisa Perkis answers some reader mail. First, she responds to letters related to her article, “Fighting the Anxiety Dragon at WDW” (link). Diane writes:
I suffer from anxiety, and have since I was a teenager. I read your recent article on dealing with anxiety in the park because we have a nephew we have taken to Disneyland twice, and he has had some problems (nothing major, really, but it never hurts to get more info). Thanks for the interesting article.
You are using one tool that is very useful for dealing with anxiety—cognitive thinking—although you don’t call it that. That’s basically being aware of the anxiety and rationally thinking through it. There is another tool, though, that you don’t mention. I used to have to take klonopin (a powerful, addictive drug) regularly to deal with anxiety attacks, but by learning a simple breathing exercise, I have managed to dramatically reduce my need for drugs to deal with this (link).
I know it sounds simplistic, but here is how it was explained to me in the health care program where I learned the technique. Diaphragmatic breathing mimics the way we breathe when we are asleep, which has an automatic calming effect. Now, when I’m in a stressful situation, I simply breathe from my belly for a few minutes, and I do feel calmer. I taught my husband the technique, and it has helped him deal with stress. I even have a friend who learned the technique as a breathing aid during singing lessons, and she says that she is able to use it to calm herself before performances. It’s a way for people with anxiety to actually reduce the anxiety, warding off panic attacks. It has given me control of the uncontrollable.
Anyway, sorry if you were already aware of this, or have tried it, but I thought you might benefit if you hadn’t heard of it. Good luck dealing with your daughter’s anxiety, and congratulations on dealing with it proactively instead of simply forcing her to do things she doesn’t want to do.
Thank you so much for the link. The Anxiety Cure for Kids does talk about breathing and relaxation techniques, but I really like the way you have explained diaphragmatic breathing. I think kids can understand what it means to breathe “like you are asleep.” Thanks for the tip and for sharing your story.
Maureen writes:
I just finished your latest article and want to commend you on being so sensitive to your daughter’s fears. My own girls were never afraid at Walt Disney World but I can still recall over 50 years earlier my own fears in a “fun house.” Your article should provide a lot of great ideas for moms and dad going through similar experiences. Your girls are very fortunate to have such understanding parents!
Thank you so much for the kind words.
Rae writes:
The anxiety dragon can also affect adults! I tried for over 2 months to get up the courage to ride Expedition Everest but when I got there I just couldn’t do it. Someone could have taken that same picture of me watching the coaster come out of the mountain and saying “NO WAY!” It did nothing for my self-esteem to see little kids riding it with no fear.
How well I know how the Dragon affects adults! I almost didn’t ride Expedition Everest myself—I sent my husband on it first while I stayed with Charlotte. After he survived, I decided to try it, knowing we would not be back at Walt Disney World for quite a while and it would be my one chance. I also wanted to show Charlotte that even though mommy was nervous about it, she was going to face her anxiety. I expect you to try it next time, Rae! Face that dragon!
Annie writes:
Great article about anxiety at Walt Disney World. I read your first article quite a while ago and had meant to send you a note then to thank you. Our youngest also had some anxiety issues and I picked up “The Anxiety Cure for Kids.” We live nowhere near the parks so I used it in a completely different context, but it was such a help in a number of ways, so a belated thank you for the heads up on such a good book.
You are very welcome! I’m glad the book was helpful.
Chloe writes:
I really appreciated your article regarding your daughter’s anxiety. I am 19 years old, and have been suffering “the dragon” since I was a baby. It started with being afraid of the car, and has had a hold of me, on and off, ever since. I have my good years, and my bad years, but it is a constant battle. I am so proud of your daughter, and feel that I relate to her in many ways. You are an excellent mother for realizing that by showing frustration, you harm more than help, and for being so supportive of your daughter’s recovery. My parents didn’t really realize that my constant fear was a problem, so I didn’t start battling as early on as she has. I just wish you and your family all the best, and I wanted you to know that your story really touched me, because I have been successful at warding off my dragon, but sometimes, when things are really low, it’s hard to get encouragement, but reading that really encourages me that I can continue to overcome my worries. Thank you for sharing your story.
I think you should be really proud of yourself for recognizing the Dragon for what it is and for fighting it on your own. Try not to be too hard on your parents—I didn’t understand what Char was dealing with until I was fortunate enough to talk to a parent at school whose child was having very similar problems and recommended the book to me. It’s pretty hard to understand the real pain and physical stress a person with anxiety feels unless they have experienced it for themselves. Hang in there and don’t give up—it may be something you always deal with, but hopefully in fewer situations and lighter intensity as you keep fighting the Dragon.
Take care and thanks for the feedback.
Kevin writes:
Thank you for a very useful article. We took our 5-year-old son to Walt Disney World last month, and experienced some of the same ups and downs as you did with Charlotte. He gladly tried Test Track, Goofy’s Barnstormer, Soarin’, Haunted Mansion, Star Tours, and the Great Movie Ride, and loved them all. Another success was Buzz Lightyear—although I had to persuade him to get on the ride by carrying him into the line and showing him Buzz talking, and then assuring him that Buzz wouldn’t let anything happen to him (he loved the ride, and went on it several times). He also agreed to go to “It’s Tough to Be a Bug”, and enjoyed maybe 1/2 of it (the other 1/2 scared the dickens out of him)—but was still proud of himself for trying it. Splash Mountain was too big and too scary for this trip.
I always have in mind my own experience. I lived in Dallas, Texas, not far from Six Flags Over Texas [theme park]. Every time we went, I was scared to death of the Runaway Mine Train and refused to go near it. Finally, one trip I worked myself up into braving it—and I have been a roller coaster fan ever since (I am a big fan of Rock ‘n Roller Coaster and Expedition Everest). Most of the battle is actually getting on the ride, and the joy is conquering the fear and learning that the ride can be fun. I think my son learned a little bit of this on our last trip.
Thanks for sharing about your son. He sounds a lot like Char in what he liked and disliked about Walt Disney World—however, keep in mind she is four years older than your boy. We have quite a ways to go in encouraging her to try a variety of rides. She did love the Great Movie Ride, though—she would have ridden that attraction all day if we had let her.
Finally, it’s never too early to think about Christmas, right? Lisa answers some holiday-related letters. Julie writes:
I have booked a vacation for our family of 5 and did not even consider the notion that it would be a very busy time. Our kids are 3, 5 and 8 and we will be in Disneyland from the 24th to the 31st. What tips do you have so we can avoid line-ups. Is it true they closed the park last year because it was too busy? How do I find out about the parades? Would you recommend we leave the park for dinner, or will we have a hard time getting back in? Lastly, what are the park hours during this time and what attractions would you go to first to avoid big line-ups? Do you know what the busiest day of the year was?
Yes, it’s a very busy time at the resort, but if you do a little planning you can still do and see most everything you want.
The most important thing to remember is the first couple of hours in the parks are the lightest crowd-wise, so be at the main gate at least a half hour before the park is scheduled to open. At times they will open the gates a half hour earlier than scheduled and you can walk through Main Street up to the rope barrier that leads to the rest of the park. Wait there until the rope is dropped, then ride, ride, ride. Do not do any shopping or long meals until later in the day, when the park is very crowded and the wait for attractions are much longer. It’s amazing how much you can get done first thing in the morning if you apply yourself.
I have a feeling there will not be the record crowds there were at Christmas last year. Last Christmas was the perfect storm, as so many people waited to visit the park for the 50th anniversary until the holidays, so they could see the Christmas decorations as well as the special things for the 50th. It should still be extremely crowded, though. Check with CM at the gate if you are considering leaving the park for dinner and they will be able to give you an idea if the gates will be closed due to crowds.
As far as entertainment, check the official Disney site in the weeks leading up to your trip, and they will start to list the parades and fireworks. They will also list park hours. My family likes to plan a loose itinerary for each day so we will be sure to hit the activities that everyone feels are important to them.
Another great resource is our MousePad message board (link). We have a lot of Disneyland veterans who are always happy to answer trip-planning questions.
Take care and have a great trip. Christmastime at Disneyland is my favorite time to visit.
Kristen writes:
What beautiful Disneyland Christmas photos that you posted! Although being at Disneyland during Christmas is my favorite holiday fun, I haven’t been in almost 12 years! Shameful isn’t it? I’ll probably just have to look at your photos every so often until I can see it all in person again.
My sister, her husband and son all have annual passes because they live in Buena Park where we grew up. She is always telling me about how they will go to D-land for the day… just to eat lunch and walk around. Yep, I’m jealous. As a matter of fact we were supposed to go down to her house tomorrow to go to Disneyland for my husbands birthday, but that fell through.
I am a Christmas fanatic. I listen to Christmas music all year…it makes me happy! Going to Disneyland and quietly singing along with the Main Street Carolers absolutely makes my evening when we have gone. Getting hot chocolate and sitting on a bench, watching people and waiting for the Christmas parade makes me feel like a kid. (I’m 48) I’m not sure when I’ll get there for Christmas again, but I will… someday! Thanks again for the great photos.
Thank you for the nice feedback. Christmas is my very favorite time to visit Disneyland as well. I will be glad to see the tree back to the traditional ornaments this year. For the 50th celebration all the ornaments were gold and it just didn’t look as impressive, for some reason.
Anyway, take care and hope you can make it to the park this Christmas!
