Back in January, I published a column titled “Old or New“. In that article, I wrote about several Walt Disney World attractions that had changed over the years and offered opinions on whether the changes were positive or negative—from my perspective, of course. To refresh your memory I wrote specifically about:
- World of Motion versus Test Track
- The Enchanted Tiki Room versus The Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management
- Legend of the Lion King versus Mickey’s Philharmagic
- If You Had Wings / Dream Flight versus Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin
- Horizons versus Mission: Space
Based on the volume of email I received in response to that column, I’m guessing that many of you had some fun with that premise. As a matter of fact, several responses included suggestions for a future column. Well, I’ve never been one to back down from a little controversy (all in good fun, of course), so here are a few more opinions on whether Disney hit or missed the mark on attraction makeovers.
The Timekeeper versus Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor
I liked the previous tenant, the Timekeeper, but I also like its replacement. These are the most difficult ones, aren’t they? What to do?
The Timekeeper was a favorite attraction. The Timekeeper character, voiced by Robin Williams, was a C3PO look-alike robot that fired off one-liners with all of Robin’s quickness and timing. He sent his companion, a nine-camera hovercraft called 9-Eye (voiced by Rhea Perlman), on a journey through time and the audience was allowed to tag along. Mork from Ork and Carla from Cheers… could you think of a better duo?
The nine cameras gave us a Circlevision-like viewing as we stood against lean rails in the large theater. 9-Eye took us back in time to a French Science Fair where we met H. G. Wells (Jeremy Irons) and Jules Verne (French actor Michel Piccoli). Jules hitches a ride on our trip through time and shares adventures that include a medieval battlefield, a bobsled run and a few laps around an automobile racetrack (and let’s not forget the trip through the English countryside with someone named Trevor). This attraction was fun, educational and entertaining—we can’t ask for much more, can we?
The Timekeeper went through a period of the dreaded “open seasonally” status before finally going dark in 2006. I can recall attending a Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party later that year. They used the building to take the complimentary photos of the Party’s guests, using the lean rails as a makeshift queue. It was sad to see the Robin Williams animatronics at the front of the room—totally silent and unmoving.
Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor came along in early 2007 and used the technology that had wowed many of us at Turtle Talk With Crush. The makeover has changed this attraction into a comedy club featuring several characters from the Monsters Inc. film including Mike Wazowski and the very stern Roz. The premise is that Monstropolis is now powered by laughs, not screams, and a cast of monster-comedians performs to get those laughs.
The catchy component to this attraction is the interaction the monsters have with the audience. While the jokes are cute and child-friendly, I’ve found they can get a bit stale with multiple viewings. Nevertheless, it’s still fun—even with repeat visits.
So which do I prefer? As I mentioned, I like both but I will give the Timekeeper the edge here. The combination of entertaining and educational is something I’ve always associated with Disney, back to Walt’s days, and the Timekeeper has that. Even though it offered the same script and film for every viewing, I thought it was a more repeatable attraction—at least more so than Monster’s Inc.
Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride versus the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
I’m trembling a bit as I write this—mainly because I’m aware that there’s a huge faction that almost went to war when Toad was replaced in Fantasyland. The ride certainly had some serious fans and I’m not looking to rile them up but… I have a confession to make. I have to say this quickly and quietly and… please… let’s keep this between you and me, OK? Ready? I’ve never ridden Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.
“What? You call yourself a Disney fan? Blasphemy!” Shhhh! Not so loud. I don’t need a middle of the night visit from the Mr. Toad Preservation Committee.
I’m not really sure why but it just never intrigued me. On our early trips, beginning in 1984, we were perfectly content to stay with our familiar Disney characters and ride Peter Pan, Snow White, Dumbo, etc. We just never got around to Toad. So how can I offer an opinion as to which attraction was better? You’re kidding, right?
Where were we? Oh, yes… Mr. Toad. As we all know, this was a very popular attraction with many people but, after reading a description of the ride, I’m sort of scratching my head. The ride took the guests on a tour of the English countryside that stopped abruptly when you met an oncoming train in a blackened tunnel. That “accident” then took the riders to… hell! Did I mention this was in Fantasyland? In the Magic Kingdom? Yes, Satan, devils, pitchforks… it must have been a huge relief to finally be ushered out of the ride into the waiting gift shop. What were they thinking?
I’m trying to envision the Imagineering conference room scene that birthed this attraction:
Manager: OK, folks, we need a new attraction for Fantasyland—something nice for the kiddies. Who’s got an idea?
Ted (sheepishly raises his hand): Uh… chief? I have an idea.
Manager: OK, Teddie boy. Let’s have it.
Ted: I’m envisioning a dark ride where the guests would board an old jalopy.
Manager: A jalopy? I love jalopies! Tell me more.
Ted: We’d take them on a ride through the English countryside. We’d have scenes with trees, farm animals…
Manager: Good show! I love trees and farm animals. Sycamores! Cows! Sheep! What else you got?
Ted: Then we’d bring them into the city. Some street scenes… maybe a few prison inmates in those striped prison suits.
Manager: Prison suits? What happened to the cows?
Ted: Then there would be a shoot-out with the police.
Manager: Uh, Ted?
Ted: We’d then take the jalopy into a dark area and through a railroad crossing sign. We’d run the sign and have a head-on collision with a locomotive. Then…
Manager: Ted! A head-on collision? Good grief, man! What’s next? A trip to the ER?
Ted: Oh, no. We’d bypass that entirely. Our guests have perished in the accident and now go straight to hell. We’ll have devils and pitchforks and…
Manager: H-E-double hockey sticks! Ted! What are they putting in the cafeteria’s coffee? This is the Magic Kingdom. You need help. Who else has an idea?
Bob: Uh… Chief? I was thinking maybe something with singing dolls… or an impish alien from another planet…
Manager: Singing dolls! Aliens! Now we’re cooking. Ted, why don’t you take the rest of the day off. I think you need some rest. Bob! Tell me more about the singing dolls…
Over the objections of many of its fans, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride closed in 1998 and was replaced the following year with The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. I have ridden this…twice. To be perfectly honest, the only reason I rode a second time was to see if it was really as bad as I thought it was after my first ride.
I know I’ll probably get some flames for that statement but please allow me to explain. I can appreciate how much fun a child could have on this ride. It’s musical, whimsical and… bouncy. Please, take your children on this ride, enjoy it and don’t look back. Pay me no mind.
I just never built any fondness for any of A. A. Milne’s characters. I have nothing against Pooh, Tigger, Piglet and the rest. I even kind of like Eeyore. I just don’t have enough affection to force me on this ride… and the ride itself is just not interesting enough.
So how do I offer an opinion comparing a ride I dislike versus one I never rode? I guess I don’t. I’ll leave this one to you. What do you think? Is Pooh an improvement (try to read that sentence aloud a few times)? Should they have left Toad alone?
Stitch’s Great Escape versus Alien Encounter
This one is bound to create some turmoil. Is there a more criticized attraction than Sitch’s Great Escape? Well, there was with Stitch’s Supersonic Celebration (read my review of that catastrophe here.) And let’s not forget the universally panned Sounds Dangerous at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.
Let’s step back in time to that Tomorrowland location and the very lame Flight to the Moon attraction. I won’t bore you with a lot of details about the cheesy effects in that attraction but I will tell you that it was replaced in 1975 by the only slightly less cheesy Mission to Mars. Guests sat around in a circle, feeling a slight vibration and watching a small screen on the ceiling simulate a trip through space. We’ve come a long way, baby. Compare the effects on Mission: Space to those earlier roots.
In 1993, Mission to Mars was mercifully closed to make way for the ExtraTerrorestrial Alien Encounter. I liked this attraction although I’d be the first to admit the storyline was somewhat muddled. We were introduced to a company called X-S Tech and watched a demonstration of their transporter technology in the pre-show. Remember poor Skippy?
In the main theater (still circular), the building architecture had changed to look more like the ship Nostromo from the Alien film. A shoulder harness locked you into your seat and you witnessed a teleportation experiment gone horribly wrong. A nasty alien creature was beamed into the room and then escaped his enclosure. The room went completely dark as you were bombarded with special effects including some very realistic binaural sounds coming through speakers in your headrest. Was that the monster’s breath on my neck? Was that him touching my head?
I enjoyed Alien Encounter but would agree that it was a little too scary for the Magic Kingdom. Rumor had it that then-CEO Michael Eisner felt the same way and had it toned down a bit and then, in 2003, had it “re-imagined” to what we now have as Stitch’s Great Escape. It’s essentially the same attraction except the storyline has been lightened considerably. Instead of a fear of being eaten, you’re now subjected to Stitch bouncing on your harness and belching a chili-dog in your direction.
My vote? I know it wasn’t kid-friendly but I’d take Alien Encounter any day of the week.
So there’s this edition of Old versus New. Agree? Disagree? Let me know. You can also let me know if there are any other “old versus new” attractions you’d like to see discussed. The dwindling list I have so far looks like:
- The Living Seas versus the Seas With Nemo and Friends
- Journey Into Your Imagination versus Journey Into Imagination With Figment
- Universe of Energy versus Ellen’s Energy Adventure
- El Rio del Tiempo versus Gran Fiesta Tour Starring the Three Caballeros!
- Spaceship Earth (Walter Cronkite/Jeremy Irons) versus Spaceship Earth (Dame Judy Dench)
- Illuminations: 2000 versus Illuminations: Reflections of Earth
- Hall of Presidents versus (new) Hall of Presidents
- Fantasy in the Sky versus Wishes
- Electrical Light Parade versus SpectroMagic
- Mann’s Chinese Theater versus the Sorcery Mickey Hat
- Superstar Television versus the American Idol Experience
- The Monster Sound Show versus Sounds Dangerous
- The Hunchback of Notre Dame versus Lights, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show
- Who Wants to be a Millionaire – Play it! versus Toy Story Midway Mania
- Animation Tour versus the Magic of Disney Animation
- Sorcery in the Sky versus Fantasmic!
- Tarzan Rocks! versus Finding Nemo: the Musical
- Spoodles versus Kouzzina
- The Kitchen Kabaret versus Food Rocks versus Soarin’
- The CommuniCore versus Innoventions
- Empress Lilly versus Fulton’s Crab House
- The Gourmet Pantry versus Earl of Sandwich
Can you add some more?
