MousePlanet is proud to announce the newest addition to our Parenting in the Parks column, the Parenting in the Parks Panel. Each semimonthly column will explore a specific aspect of parenting in the Disney theme parks. We’ve invited a group of MousePlanet columnists, readers, and local parenting bloggers to participate, and each article will feature a fresh new mix of contributors. Our panelists are parents just like you, and include moms and dads with children ranging from preschool to grad school—just real people sharing their best ideas to help make your trip more enjoyable.
To get the discussion flowing, we asked this week’s panel to tell us, “What’s your best strategy for handling the inevitable ‘Mommy! Daddy! I waaaant thaaat!’ when visiting the theme parks?”
MousePlanet columnist Lisa Perkis says her proudest accomplishment in life is being a mom to Emma, 15, and Charlotte, 12. She has also taught preschool for 19 years in her hometown of San Diego. She and her family visit Disneyland as often as possible and have had annual passes for 12 years.
Lisa says:
I had to laugh when I read the title of the topic, because I’m usually the one whining, “I waaant thaaat!” when visiting the theme parks, not the kids. We have had the same basic strategy for buying “treats” (our term for souvenirs) at the parks since the kids were very young, and it works well for our family. Our kids get to handle their own money at the parks and spend it on whatever their little heart desires—be it Goofy’s sour balls, a Stitch pin, or, as they get older, a really cool vintage T-shirt or purse. When they were very little—younger than 6 or 7—their budget was smaller, of course. Money given to them by grandparents or the few dollars a week they got for allowances would all go carefully in a little Disney wallet and was kept safe by mom in the backpack until the girls found something they wanted. When they were almost 10 years old, I often had to remind them of how much they had in the wallet verses how much the price tag was. They quickly learned to check the price tag first on anything they were interested in. They also learned to ask for Disney gift cards for their birthday and savor the thought of the grand shopping sprees they would have.
The interesting thing about this method, and why I think it works so well, is that when kids have control of their own money to spend, suddenly the need to buy every single thing in the Emporium is not such a strong drive. After all, when it’s your money you’re dropping on that Mickey keychain, you had better really, really want it. I recall so many times my kids carrying items through the World of Disney until we reached the checkout stand, then look thoughtfully at it and put it back, saying, “It’s OK, I think I’ll keep looking.” Another thing I like about this method is that mom and dad are not the one controlling shopping for treats—the kids are. Once their money is gone, it’s gone.
We have a few exceptions to the guidelines. When one of the girls falls in love with an item that they don’t have the money for at that particular visit, I may spring for the item out of the goodness of my mommy heart, or ask if she wants me to buy it and put it away for birthday or Christmas. However, I never, ever hear the whiney “I waaant thaaat” from either of my kids, because they have grown up knowing that mom buying an item is a pretty big exception. And the best part is that it has always been a pleasant thing to shop with the kids at the parks because they are excited and proud to use their own money.
So, in the end, I don’t believe the “I waaant thaaat!” cry is inevitable at the parks, if families do some planning ahead of time and, most importantly, follow through with letting kids work out their own money and spending.
Bill found it hard to resist buying a $12 balloon for his youngest daughter during a recent trip to Disneyland. Photo by Joe Stevano.
MousePlanet reader Bill (who posts as Disneyland Dad on our MousePad discussion boards) and his wife live in Reno with their son, 12, and two daughters, 6 and 1.
Bill says:
We come to Disneyland as often as possible and sometimes even when it’s not.
When we are at Disneyland, which is pretty frequent considering we live in Reno, Nev., we have a few tricks that make souvenir shopping a little easier. We usually don’t go into the shops on Main Street when we get to the park, and the same goes with the shops at the entrance to Disney’s California Adventure. That is probably the most important thing we try to stick to, because it eliminates the steady “I want that” from the beginning of a day.
If we do happen for some reason to wander into one of those stores and we get the “I want that” (which will happen) from our 6-year-old daughter, we say no unless it is something we were planning on buying and was the reason we walked in the store in the first place. A lot of the time we don’t tell our kids what we plan on buying so it seems like more of a treat or surprise to them, which is always a good thing. Now, if the “I want that” comes from our 12-year-old son, we have to be more clever as he catches on to our strategies much more easily than his little sister. No matter which one utters the first “I want that,” the default answer is usually “no.” Fortunately, our kids understand the word “no” and usually don’t pester, but hey, they are kids and sometimes lose their minds—especially when in the Happiest Place on Earth. If and when they ask again, we reiterate our first “no” and also point out that if we allow it and they choose to buy this item, what would happen if we go into a different store and they see something that is way totally cooler and even more awesome?
Our kids understand that they do not get everything they want and ask for, so they weigh if that one item they have in their hot little hands is really that vital, in case they do find something better. During some trips, we even get out of the parks without actually buying any souvenirs at all, or at least that the kids are aware of (I have yet to figure out how to safely say “no” to my wife).
This tactic of asking a child who is old enough to reason if what they want at that moment is the best thing they might encounter all day—or even for the rest of the trip—works all over the park and at home, too. We would like to buy our kids everything they want, but if we do that at Disneyland or anywhere else, we really are not teaching them very well.
None of this came into play when our youngest daughter, at 14 months, pointed to a glow balloon and said, “Bahoon!” I had no idea they were $12. Wow. Oh, and her glow balloon only lasted three days…
Parenting in the Parks columnist Adrienne Krock is the proud mom of three boys:
For me, parenting on vacation starts with consistent parenting at home. We consistently handle the “gimmes” at home before we ever step on Disney property. When we go to the store, our children understand that no means no, but that “not now, maybe later” means that we will follow-up later, as promised. When my oldest was a preschooler, he always wanted to look at things in the store—who doesn’t? I let him pick up the things and inspect them. When it was time to go, I told him, “Say bye-bye to the toy and put it back!” This taught him that sometimes, we just look but we do not have to take everything home. When our children learned that fussing and even tantrums did not get them the toy they wanted at Target, they learned that it would not work at Disneyland, either. They still try to test this on vacation, but the consistency at home helps mitigate problems on vacation.
When we go to a Disney park, or on any vacation, we have a plan for souvenirs. We give each of our boys a souvenir budget and we retain veto power. For our older boys, 8 and 11, we give them a budget for the entire trip. For our kindergartner, we divide up his budget into daily spending limits. Ideally, we try to shop before we buy. We give the boys a chance to look around at different stores to see what is available, to reduce the chance that they might see something they like better later. With our youngest, too many choices can be overwhelming, so we direct him to specific stores that we choose based on what we think he will want to buy.
After we shop, if time permits, we leave the store and come back later. This gives the boys time to think about what they really want. When we come back later, they have had time to realize that maybe they would rather spend their money on something else, or the item does not seem as desirable as it once was. Alternatively, this helps fight indecisiveness, too. Coming back to the store might help them narrow down their choices from before or may make the children want that toy more than ever!
Lastly, if there is something I want them to pick that they do not want to buy with their own precious budget, I go ahead and pull out my American Express card and buy it for them myself. They really like that.
Lisa Robertson is the author of Babes in Disneyland, an online Disneyland travel guide for families with babies, toddlers, and preschoolers. Lisa has a page on her site, “Tips for Keeping the ‘I-Want-That’ Monster at Bay,” about this very topic, and says she’s discovered that some of the best souvenirs are also the least expensive:
One of the best ideas I’ve heard of is one I must credit a dear friend with. She only allows her son to get a pressed penny while out. Whether at the local zoo, Disneyland, or a museum, the pressed penny is the take-home treat of choice. The great thing about the pressed penny, is that it is a shiny beautiful treasure that your child gets to “make” and costs less than a $1. You can make the pressed penny even more exciting for your child by creating a pressed penny treasure box prior to your visit. Get a small box or coffee can and decorate it with Disney wrapping paper, photos, or pictures printed off of the Internet. Add glitter and other decorations to make it even more beautiful. Explain to your child that he or she will use the box to home his/her collection of pressed pennies. Your child will be excited to begin his/her collection and you will have started a new family tradition. Pressed pennies can be made at a variety of locations throughout the park, including the Penny Arcade on Main Street, Pooh’s Corner in Critter Country, and World of Disney outside of Disneyland in Downtown Disney.
You can read more of Lisa’s tips on her Blog, Babes in Disneyland (link).
MousePlanet columnist Chris Barry and wife Diane, “the marathon-running graphic designer who loves to garden and is a big Tinker Bell fan,” are raising 10-year-old Samantha, who “shares her father’s love of Disney and her mother’s love of art,” and twin 7-year-old boys, Casey and Alex, who “consider Mickey Mouse’s house their favorite place.”
Chris shared:
First of all, the person to worry about when shopping at Walt Disney World is me, not the kids. That said though, we have had some ups and some downs dealing with the kids and souvenirs, culminating with the purchase of a needed extra piece of luggage at the Port Orleans gift shop to cart home all of our purchases. We’ve since reigned our kids in and got them to understand that the shopping experience at Disney, while important and part of the fun, is not the end all be the entire trip.
Our first few trips with kids were taken with just my daughter. She was four at the time and we left the one-year-old twin boys home with Grandma. My daughter is a different sort and even at her young age was somewhat practical and easy to reason with. She never insisted on anything and never threw a tantrum if we left a store without making a purchase. We had plenty of “grandparent money” given to her, from both sides, to spend, so we knew what the limit was. She picked several plushies on that trip and some clothes and spent her “grandparent money’ down.
On that first trip she also discovered pins. We also purchased her a Kim Possible bucket hat to keep her head covered in the blistering August heat. She agreed to fill her hat once around with pins and that would be all she was allowed to get. Having a preset limit worked well. Once her hat was covered with pins, she was done for that trip. Since then, she has added to her collection each trip, but always has a limit. Lately, it’s been her lanyard. She gets enough to comfortably fill it and she knows she’s done.
The twins were a little harder to deal with at times. Their first trip was also at age 4 and they seemed to be a little more overwhelmed by the Disney experience. The heat seemed to get to them more and they were crankier harder to please than their sister. We admit we had several instances where buying them a toy was the only way to placate them. Again, I think it’s their personality. There are also two of them, so they can sort of gang up on you. They quickly figured out how to push their limits and get what they wanted and sometimes lost the battle and gave in. On the trip that followed the next year, they were a little older and we were a little wiser and set actual numerical restrictions on them, i.e.: only two stuffed toys, only one set of figures each, etc. They responded well to that.
We’re trying gift cards on our next trip. The boys are now 7 and my daughter 10, and they have dealt with gift cards before and seem to like the whole “planning out their purchase” thing. People asked what to get them for their respective birthdays and we told them we had a Disney trip coming soon and to get them gift cards. So, we’re hoping the cards will help them budget their souvenir shopping.
It’s your turn—keep the discussion flowing!
Visit the Parenting on the Parks section of our MousePad discussion board, and share your best tip for handling the “I want that” tantrum when you’re at the Disney theme parks (link), or send your suggestions via e-mail (link). Reader-submitted tips might be used in a future article, and you might be selected to participate in an upcoming panel discussion!
Next time: What’s in your bag? How do you pack your backpack for the day when you go into the parks? Do you have a bag you can’t live without?
