At this time I would to excuse all the princesses out there.
This next section of our discussion is for princes only. I’ll wait until
all the ladies are gone.
Are they gone?
Good.
OK guys, gather ’round. I’m sure you have heard the Gilligan’s Island
poll. You know, if you could be stranded on a deserted island with either
Mary Anne or Ginger, who would you pick?
Well, while watching Cinderellabration, the following thought
occurred to me. Let’s say I were a single guy and in search of that “special
princess.” I turn to eHarmony and fill out the questionnaire and
wait for the results.
Let’s say that for this argument the only candidates in the eHarmony
database were the Disney princesses. These would be, in alphabetical order,
Ariel, Aurora, Belle, Cinderella, Jasmine, Pocahontas, and Snow White.
The Disney Princesses wave to the audience as they say farewell at the
end of Cinderellabration. Photo by Lani Teshima.
Who would be the most compatible princess of the bunch for me, and why?
Each princess has her own set of qualities and I thought it would be interesting
to just see where they would fit with my, erh, qualities.
Oh yes, I asked permission from my lovely wife Carol to go through this
exercise. After her laughing fit of five minutes and wiping the tears
from her eyes, she said between the chuckles, “Sure Mike! Sure! Knock
yourself out honey! “
OK, here’s what I came up with. And please, play along at home.
I’m glad it’s just us guys doing this because I’m not sure how the princesses
out there would approve of this discussion, but Cinderellabration
may have this effect on all the guest princes that are watching the show.
So let’s start.
Princess Aurora a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty
We all know the story of Sleeping Beauty. It’s simple, due to a bit of
black magic that was tweaked a bit by a couple of Fairy Godmothers, Aurora
fell into a deep sleep until her prince came a knocking and saved the
day.
We don’t know much about Aurora except that the animals like her and
that she slept for a long time. Oh yes and then there are those Fairy
Godmothers.
So what would eHarmony match Aurora with me? Here comes the report.
Hmmm, guess not.
The report says that Aurora really enjoyed her extended sleep and may
prefer sleeping in every morning. Hmmm, that won’t work.
I am usually up before the chickens and am running around doing all sorts
of things so I can get a jump on the day. Of course an early start in
the day means an early night.
Could Aurora be a night owl and stay up to the wee hours and then sleep
until 10 or 11 in the morning? Hmmm, we never really find out what happened
after those words “happily ever after” so we really have no
clue as to her sleeping habits. But I have to think that those habits
are tough to break.
I think that the eHarmony machine may also pick up on the Fairy Godmothers.
I’m sure her Fairy Godmothers will pop in unannounced from time to time.
Don’t you hate the pop-ins? I do, nothing worse than a messy castle and
an unshaven prince caught off guard by the doorbell.
I’m afraid Princess Aurora and I just wouldn’t be a match.
Who’s next?
Jasmine
What would the eHarmony boys make of this one?
I can see one matching characteristic. Since she’s from the Middle East
she probably likes spicy food. So do I. Hey, maybe we’ve got something
here.
Of course being the daughter of a Sultan she is used to the finer things
in life, probably things I could not afford, like gold-trimmed anything.
There could be a lifestyle incompatibility problem here.
Maybe she could adjust? Maybe I can work three jobs? Maybe she could
get a job? That could be a stretch.
I can see eHarmony pointing out that Jasmine’s 5,000-pound pet Bengal
tiger would be an issue. I’m allergic to cats. I can’t exactly ask her
to give up her lifelong pet? I know what some of you guys are saying,
but taxidermy is out of the question.
Looks like I’m the incompatible one—what a challenge for the eHarmony
server.
Let’s move on.
Ariel
I know Ariel is not in Cinderellabration but she must be considered
a Disney princess. After all isn’t King Triton her dad?
OK here’s the problem. Which Ariel are we dealing with here? Are we talking
Ariel with fins or Ariel with legs?
Let’s assume the eHarmony database has them both covered.
If we are dealing with Ariel the mermaid, then all bets are off—who’s
going to keep up with her when she’s in the water? Don’t look at me. Of
course then there’s the matter of how long she can remain on dry land.
You know, breathes through gills and all that stuff.
I’m guessing she has to sleep in the ocean. There is no way she could
spend overnight on land. Let’s face it: If she does, then she will be
like, like a fish out of water.
Even if we are dealing with a legged Ariel, the sea would be important
to her. Sure I can handle that some of the time but I would think that
she would want to be close to seashore all the time. I’m guessing that
the big problem here is that Ariel would want to constantly be near the
ocean and I would be just the opposite. This one was easy for the eHarmony
boys.
I don’t think I could adjus,t and I certainly would not ask her to change.
It’s me again… just call me Mr. Incompatible. OK, whose idea was
it to write this article?
Pocahontas
Yeah we really need to include Pocahontas in this discussion. She is
a Native American princess. She is obviously used to the outdoors and
should be able to handle any adversity that comes her way.
Let’s see. Is this a match?
Not so, says eHarmony. Something about “ego clash.” Actually
it’s probably my ego that’s the problem. Pocahontas can probably swim,
paddle, hunt, and do a lot more things better than me. She can probably
talk to the animals, too. I can’t.
Let’s see, eHarmony says my ego could not handle the fact that Pocahontas
can do so many things better than me. Huh? Let me see that list.
Yikes, she can do everything better than me.
Have a good life Pocahontas! Time for me to move to the next one.
Yeah, I’m getting nervous, Carol may have another laughing fit waiting
around the corner.
Snow White
OK, now this one’s just has to be a perfect match. Who could not get
along with Snow White? She’s a great homemaker. She keeps a very clean
cottage. We know she can cook. We certainly know she sings like a bird
and always has a smile on her face.
Plus she’s lived with dwarfs with names like Bashful, Dopey, Grumpy,
and Sleepy, all of which I’ve been at one time or another. Wait! She has
lived with these guys—no, it’s OK. No problem. Hmmm.
This is a no brainer. We can stop right here. Snow White is definitely
the most compatible princess for me.
Wait, there’s a report coming over from eHarmony.
Ahhh, it has recognized all the compatible points I have mentioned.
But what’s this other page? Let me read, “Party of the first part,
party of the second part.” Hmmm, it says that although we have many
compatible tendencies, they are outweighed by one incompatible tendency:
She is too easy going… and I’m not? What? Let me read on.
“Party of the first part, .strong personality, party of the second
part, shy, always agreeable, “ Oh, oh, I get it. She’ll never question
anything I say or do. Hmm, that may work well for some but not for me.
I need a challenge. Poor Snow—wait, poor me, I’m up the stream without
a princess. Am I that bad?
Hey, these eHarmony guys are good, but there’s only two princesses left,
Cinderella and Belle.
Sigh. Let’s get it over with.
Cinderella
OK, now let’s face it. we’re talking Cinderella here; kind, generous,
thoughtful, and just a delight. My guess is that she is compatible with
just about everything.
We can stop right here.
Ah, here comes the report from eHarmony, each your heart out ’cause…
what? Huh? Oh come on. They can’t be serious.
The report says that although our personal traits are somewhat compatible
there is a potential issue and they spotted it.
The issue is lifestyle. You see, Cinderella is used to servants, living
in the castle, royal balls, and things like that.
Me? Heck, I have a problem visiting the Grand Floridian. It’s just not
me. Once again I cannot adjust my lifestyle and I’m certainly not going
to ask Cindy to adjust hers. Apparently neither one of us can adjust.
Jeesh, am I incompatible with all the princesses?
One left.
Belle
I’m not getting my hopes up. I’m sure there’s some incompatibility issue
like she loves the color periwinkle and I don’t or I love Dole Whips and
she’s allergic to pineapple or something like that.
Here comes the report. Hmmm.
Just like Snow White, Belle has plenty of traits compatible with me.
She likes to read and loves to cook. She is very easy going and tries
to make everyone comfortable in her presence. Hey I’m beginning to like
this.
She is also very strong-minded, oh oh, here it comes.
Wait, it says she maintains an inquisitive mind and will often engage
in deep discussions when she feels there’s an issue to be resolved. I
can live with that—I love a good debate.
The report also says that she has courage and intelligence, and has known
to tame a Beast or two. Well I can be a beast you know.
OK the last page usually has the incompatible points.Give it to me, I
can take it.
Hey! Guess what?
There was only one word on the page: “MATCH.”
Yes! Finally, there is a Disney princess who can live with me and my
faults.
Belle and Mike, her eHarmony
match by Carol Scopa.
I guess all along that’s what I was thinking. It wasn’t a case of me
choosing a princess but recognizing how important it is for all of us
to understand what it takes to be “Disney-like” in our relationships
with everyone in our lives.
It’s a lesson that we all receive when we visit Walt Disney World.
It all comes back to what Cinderella said at Cinderellabration,
and it was a message to not only the little princes in the audience but
everyone else as well.
Remember, she said, “I know there’s much more to being a princess
than just a beautiful dress and a crown.”
The message here is that regardless of whether you are a princess, a
prince, a pauper, or anything else it’s what’s inside that counts.
Walt Disney, in his own little way has subliminally planted a message
and it lives on today, even in the newest of attractions.
His goal was to have families enjoy vacations together, but it goes beyond
that. He wants us all to treat each other as family and it seems that
type of message is somehow tucked away in every attraction in every theme
park.
It’s not a question of compatibility when we treat everyone as we would
like to be treated.
So the next time you visit Walt Disney World remember this thought from
this humble writer and look for not just this message in the attractions
you meet but also for the good in every person that you meet in life.
I’m sure Walt would like to see that as would I. It would really go a
long way towards helping you…
Remember the Magic!
Next Time
I’m looking forward to next time and a favorite topic of mine, Steve
Barrett and his Hidden Mickeys.
Correction: Well I guess I sort of turned Cinderella’s father into Lazarus when I resurrected him for Cinderellabration. The king in the show is actually’s the Prince’s father and not Cinderella’s dad. I think I was so conditioned to seeing Disney princessess with Dads (yet without moms) that I completely forgot about Cinderella’s story. Oh but there’s more. By mistake I also mentioned that Ariel is on stage…but she’s not…at least she’s not in the current show. Don’t know where that came from although I think I was probably thinking ahead about this “Question” article. Anyway, I want to thank all those who took the time to drop me an email and point out those oversights. It’s nice to know that there are people out reading our efforts.
