In a previous article, we discussed giving our children more independence at the parks. Along those lines, as children get older, some families opt to bring a friend along on a trip to a Disney theme park. This week we asked the Parenting Panel: Do you bring a child's friend along with you on vacation?
Mary Kraemer is an avid Disney fan and travel consultant with CruisingCo/MouseEarVacations who loves to travel with her husband and children to Disney destinations as often as possible! Mary writes
We have four kids, and the age spread is eight years between the oldest and the twins, then 14 months between the twins and the youngest. (OK, for those of you who are curious, the first was with my first husband, and the three younger ones were with my right husband. And yes, it was pretty much like having triplets. And it was—and still is—wonderful! OK, now we can proceed.)
Even having three babies never really stopped us from making the 400-mile trek to Disneyland several times a year. When the younger three kids were in strollers, we would often bring along one of my older son’s friends so he’d have someone his own age to pal around with at the park. Generally, it worked well, and we had a more than a few kids who were eager to go with us.
I discovered and refined my inner drill sergeant when I had five kids in tow, especially when one of them wasn’t mine. There were times when our extra kid was perfectly well behaved, and there were times when a kid who was perfectly behaved at home forgot to pack that behavior for the trip! And then there were the imps who really couldn’t be trusted at home and well…let’s say they were the reason I came up with The Rule. The Rule for any kids traveling with us is simple: Behave like a reasonable, responsible human being (meaning, don’t run wild through the park, cause any ruckus, and don’t even think about shoplifting!) because as soon as you misbehave, you will find yourself on the next flight home at your parents’ expense. Issuance of The Rule was followed by The Look. I never had to make the trip to SNA.
Because my three younger kids are so close in age and get along so well, we already have a built-in buddy system. So we’ve only taken a friend to the parks with us once or twice. We’ve expanded the “take a friend” along idea to traveling with other families, which has been a lot of fun with their kids, too. I’ve also gone to the parks with only one of my kids and one of their friends, as a special treat.
When our three little ones were really small, we occasionally brought along friends for them in the form of our nanny’s teenage daughters. The teenage daughters were extremely happy to travel with us and help with the kids in exchange for park admission, hotel, and food! It was a stellar arrangement!
Chris, also known as GusMan, is always planning his next family trip to the Walt Disney World Resort and loves to help others plan their trips, as well sharing his experiences. Chris writes:
For my family, bringing someone with us from outside our family has never come up. And at one time, I really thought that bringing a child’s friend on vacation was something of an intrusion or even an imposition. However, later I come to find that we do have family members where this is a common occurrence. It wasn’t until we talked to them as to why they vacation in this manner that it became clear as to why doing so benefits them.
We are all able to enjoy every aspect of the parks and all they have to offer. Even when we were just a family of three, we were able to partake in all the rides and attractions without even thinking twice. When talking with my in-laws, I found that one family member was very susceptible to dizziness and the other family member just did not like many of the rides, but loved the shopping and shows. This left the child to pretty much go on rides by herself. She would invite a friend to come on vacation so that she could enjoy the rides with someone and the parents can also enjoy the other non-ride type of attractions as well. It seemed like a very logical explanation.
Bringing a non-family member along can add in a lot of extra considerations:
- Relationship with the friend’s family: I would think that you would have to have a real good relationship with the parents if you are going to bring them down to the parks. There has to be a level of trust and assurance on both ends.
- Relationship with the friend: I know from first-hand experiences that there are some of my kids friends that I think are really great. Others, well…. I would rather not take them with to the local shopping mall. It really has to be someone that you can get along with and not someone who will be problematic. And if you think about it – it has to be someone whom your child can stand living with for several days at a time.
- Age / maturity of friend: This is something that may require a little investigation. After all, you only experience this person around your child, in familiar surroundings, or at school events. However, if they have never traveled, or does not travel well, you may want to reconsider bringing that person along.
- Expenses: Going on vacation is going to cost money. You have to determine if you are going to treat the friend to a Disney vacation, or are you going to set some expectations up front that the parents will have to front some expenses as well. This can really be a sticking point if you are not careful, so make sure there is a clear understanding as to who will pay for what as well as any unexpected costs while on the road.
- Liability: Make sure you draw up some simple paperwork showing that you are responsible for the child’s well-being in the event of an emergency.
I used to think that someone would have to be nuts to bring a friend along to a family vacation. But after really seeing someone else’s point of view, I can see where it can enhance the child’s vacation, and quite possibly even bring a smile to someone else’s face who might not be able to experience Disney otherwise.
It's your turn—keep the discussion flowing!
Visit the Parenting in the Parks forum on our MousePad discussion board, and share your opinions about this topic or many others, or send your suggestions via e-mail. Reader-submitted tips might be used in a future article, and you might be selected to participate in an upcoming panel discussion!
