Have you ever considered taking a trip to a Disney theme park… and leaving the kids at home? Some people consider the notion of leaving the kids behind unthinkable. And so we asked the Parenting Panel: Have you left the kids at home before? Did it work for you? Would you do it again? Here’s what the Panel said!
Chris, also known as GusMan, is always planning his next family trip to Walt Disney World and loves to help others plan their trips, as well, through sharing his experiences. Chris writes:
I have heard it said many times that Walt Disney World (WDW) is not just for kids—it’s for the whole family. On top of that, Disney has done many things to make it not just for families, but for adults, as well. The problem with an adults-only trip is how you deal with the children, who love Disney just as much as the parents, when they realize that you planned a trip without them. Personally, I don’t think there is a simple, one-size-fits-all sort of solution. However, my wife and I were not expecting how our children reacted to our try at a parents-only trip.
My wife and I enjoyed a trip to ourselves the year we became Disney Vacation Club members. We decided that we were going to take some time to celebrate our wedding anniversary at Walt Disney World. We talked to the kids before we started booking rooms and flights and asked if they had any issues with us doing this. They gave us the expected feedback saying that it “wasn’t fair” and we reminded them that we already had a couple of good WDW vacations that year and we wanted to do something different. Both the kids reluctantly agreed that they would not complain about us leaving them behind, and we went on our way. We had their “blessing” and we thought we can do this guilt-free.
While on our vacation, we thought everything was going fine. We did the usual phone calling to make sure all was going well and the grandparents said that everything was going great. We had a fabulous time, brought back some great presents for the kids, and we thought we were in the clear. Instead, shortly after we returned, our son decided that he did not want to go to Disney anymore. Anytime we brought up Disney, or started talking about trip planning, he would just not want to talk about it. For a Disney fanatic in training, we were very confused as to what was going on.
One day, we sat our son down and started talking about his current reactions. He finally told us that he was very mad at us for leaving him behind and he never wanted us to do that again. Now, for a 4-year-old, this was his somewhat irrational way of expressing feelings, but we realized that, to him, those feelings were very real. We felt a little bad that the little guy was holding back his feelings, but after a good discussion, we got him to understand that this was not going to happen again for probably a very long time.
Before you think that this is a child controlling the parents, I want to assure you that this is not the case. For us, our vacations are designed for a lot of family bonding time. We do everything together and everyone’s input is considered so that the trip is extra special for all. Considering our son’s age, we just did not expect this delayed reaction.
I think if I was going to do this again, I would still make sure the kids were OK with it to a certain extent. I still would not hide the fact that we were taking a trip without them because they will eventually find out, especially since they are a little older now. (We are horrible at keeping secrets about vacations.) I think I have talked myself into a conclusion that I am not sure I could do it again—at least not until they are on their own. But to those who are considering going without the kids—only you can judge if the time and situation is right to do so. Touring without the kids can be rewarding and you can see the parks and resorts in a complexly different light. Just make sure that don’t make any enemies in the process.
Mary Kraemer is an avid Disney fan and travel consultant with CruisingCo/MouseEarVacations who loves to travel with her husband and children to Disney destinations as often as possible! Mary writes:
I remember it clearly. I was about 9 years old, living in the suburbs of DC, and I was at my friends’ house when their mom came home from a trip. She’d been all the way across the country to California, which seemed like a pretty magical destination in itself, and had been to Disneyland, which is simply the most incredible place in my imagination.
The mom brought home some mouse ears and other souvenirs for her kids from the trip. I was utterly appalled by this: “Look darling, I went to the most magical place without you and brought you a little souvenir of a place you didn’t get to go.” I thought she was the meanest mom in the entire world for doing this and thought it would probably have been much kinder if she had never said a thing about her visit to Disneyland to her kids.
It’s funny what makes an impression on kids.
Fast forward to my own momness. I like to think (and often hear from others) that I have some of the nicest kids on the planet. I enjoy being with them. I treasure them. They get along well together, almost ideally so. They are the best travel companions anyone could ever want. I also know that the amount of time that my kids are at home is finite, and we have an overflowing bucket list of destinations to see before they leave the nest.
Now, my husband and I do like to have some time on our own, and we found that the kids clubs at Walt Disney World were wonderful places for our kids to spend some time while we went out to a nice dinner on our own. As a matter of fact, the kids loved the Neverland Club at Disney's Polynesian Resort so much that it was on their to-do list for a repeat visit to WDW—so my husband and I just had to make do with dinner at the California Grill at Disney's Contemporary Resort, just to accommodate the kids’ wishes. We’re givers that way.
So, it seems pretty straightforward for me, right? I travel with my kids. Well, yes and no. As a travel agent, I have business trips, onsite training sessions, and “fam” trips (familiarization), as part of my work. And because Disney is one of my specialties, I often have to travel to WDW on business. (Yes, really, it is business and not a vacation, touring resort hotels, meetings, attending training seminars, etc.) My kids have been super understanding about this aspect of my job, although it’s not always easy because I know they’d really like to be at some of my destinations with me, but they understand that it is part of my job, which enables us to go to great places together on vacation.
As a “thank you” to my kids for their support and patience, I made a deal to take each of them on a special weekend away, which has been really fun for us.
I understand and respect that everyone’s situation is different. We do not have grandparents who can babysit our kids, nor are we wealthy enough to hire sitters to stay with our kids while we travel and leave them at home. For those folks, that decision is right for their family, and that’s the important thing.
Emily Loftus is a wife, mom of 2, portrait photographer and Disneyland fanatic from Reno, Nevada. Emily writes:
As a parent on a Disney family vacation, it isn’t uncommon for a strange thought to overtake you; wouldn’t it be fun to come without the kids sometime? But that isn’t possible, is it? The kids would never allow it, would they? Or is it possible? A parent has to be careful when considering such an operation. You must tread lightly and you must plan well. Once you’ve done that, though, I say go for it!
Of course, my children have been to Disneyland many times. I’m not talking about taking a kid-free trip instead of taking a family trip. Of course, if you have to choose one or the other—go with your kids! There is nothing like seeing a Disney theme park through the eyes of your child. It’s a magical experience, not to be missed.
Since I have been a parent, I have visited Disney theme parks child-free, several times. A couple of trips were work related, and inherently not kid-friendly, but a couple trips were just for fun. Each time I was careful to keep the kids informed, and keep them feeling included. Which brings me to my first tip: Tell the Truth. Don’t keep the details of your visit from your kids, unless your kids are very young and too little to know the difference. The worst thing that could happen, in my opinion, would be for them to find out on their own, and feel as though you lied to them.
My next tip is: Keep it quick. You definitely won’t need as much theme park time if you’re visiting child-free. A day or two goes a lot farther and can be plenty of time to see everything you want to see. If you live within a one or two hour direct flight, you can even visit Disneyland for a single day, if you watch for a great airline ticket sale. We have found tickets for as little as $79, in the past. If you fly out on the 6 a.m. flight, and back home on the 10 p.m. flight, you have almost a full day to enjoy the park without spending a night away from home. I’ve found a single day to be plenty of time in the park, on a kid-free visit.
Finally, I’d suggest letting your kids “place an order” for a treat, gift or Disney souvenir they’d like. Write it down and make sure that they know it’s important to you, that you bring them what they’ve asked for. This is much easier if you’ve been to a Disney park somewhat recently and have an idea of what is available. General requests, like “a sweatshirt,” are easier to fill than specific ones, like “A yellow sweatshirt with Tinkerbell and purple flowers.” We aren’t normally big souvenir buyers. We probably spend $15-$20 per kid, if we’re visiting as a family. But when I’ve visited child-free, I’ve upped my budget to $35 or so, and brought them each a special treat. I also brought lots of park maps, pictures and stories to tell. They have always been excited to get a little piece of Disney, and to be able to look forward to their next visit.
MousePlanet columnist Chris Barry his wife Diane, 11-year-old Samantha, and twin 8-year-olds, Casey and Alex, live on Long Island and are all major Disney and Walt Disney World fans. Chris writes:
We did the unthinkable just once. We left the kids home and took off for a long weekend at Walt Disney World by ourselves. Without getting into too much detail, the wife and I were going through a tough year and we needed a break. So, on Valentine’s Day that year, the present that Diane opened contained a reservation for two at Disney's Wilderness Lodge that coming spring. Needless to say, she was quite surprised. It was, however, a comment that we had made many times on our many trips; “I wonder what this place would be like if it were just us?”
So we decided to find out. We had always wanted to stay at the Disney's Wilderness Lodge after dining at Artist Point and walking the grounds a bit on one of our trips with the kids. We are a family of five and therefore unless we spring for a villa, we cannot fit into a standard Disney's Wilderness Lodge room. The same goes for Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge. This, to me, seemed like the perfect opportunity to check this place out. We loved the Disney's Wilderness Lodge immediately, thoroughly enjoyed our stay there and can’t wait to go back in one form or the other.
That was the easiest decision of the whole trip. The tougher part was what to tell the kids. My daughter was 11 at the time and happened to be sitting nearby when my wife opened her present. Samantha did have a concerned look in her eyes when she said, “Wait…you’re going to Disney…without us?” Given her maturity, she easily understood. Plus, she knew that we were already planning a Universal Studios/Walt Disney World trip for the upcoming summer, so she got over it pretty quick. The boys were another concern. Our twin boys were 7 at the time and we figured that they would be more upset. So, we told them we were going away for the weekend and would be back on Sunday night and maybe we would have some surprises for them. We didn’t mention Disney. That worked like a charm, and they were happy enough with the bag full of Disney souvenirs not to even ask any questions. Dodged a bullet there, didn’t we?
As far as the overall trip, and I hate to overuse a common Disney term, but it was really just…magical. Diane and I were really in our glory. We took time to do everything. We never rushed. Whether it was on the Magic Kingdom's Main Street or around Epcot's World Showcase, or on the walk back from the boat at the Wilderness Lodge, we moved at our own pace, strolling along happily and loving every minute of it. I’ve always been a big proponent of taking the time to soak in all that is Walt Disney World. We do that with the kids in order to get them to appreciate what is around them, but on our own, we took it to another level. We spent more time looking at details. It was the Flower and Garden Festival at Epcot, so we spent a lot of time there soaking in the beauty and getting ideas for our gardens at home.
Dining was another pure joy. Our kids usually behave well in restaurants, but sitting at Citricos with glasses of wine and really having a leisurely meal was a pleasure. Again, it was mostly about taking the time to be with each other and let the place work its magic on you. The same could be said for our meals at Artist Point at Disney's Wilderness Lodge and Bistro de Paris and the San Angel Inn at Epcot. They were all a joy. Shopping in Epcot in Diane’s favorite shop, Kunstarbeit in Kristall in Germany was certainly less stressful without the boys’ 4 hands on all of the breakables.
That said, though, we missed the kids a lot. This is a place that we, as a family unit, get to spend some very special time together. It was hard seeing other kids running up to characters or walking around with that silly, “I’m in Disney World” grin on their faces. We saw our kids at every turn, after all, it’s a place for kids. But these two big kids had just as much fun, sharing rides together for a change, watching shows, sipping wine slowly in restaurants, and holding hands in the rose garden while Tinker Bell flew over our heads. We’ll be back on our own again someday. If you’ve done it already, you know what I mean. If you haven’t, what are you waiting for?
If you want to read some more on this, I wrote two articles about this topic right around the time of this trip. One was Top 5 Things I’m Looking Forward to Doing on my Kid-Free Trip to Walt Disney World. The other was a follow-up, the Top 5 Things I Did On My Kid-Free Trip to Walt Disney World. Check them out if you get the chance.
Parenting in the Parks columnist Adrienne Krock’s three boys are now 12, 10, and 7. They’ve been visiting Disneyland since they were each just weeks old and Annual Passholders since their 3rd birthdays. Adrienne writes:
We live 30 minutes from Disneyland (Standard Southern California Disclaimer: Without Traffic.) We often visit Disneyland without the kids for date nights at Napa Rose at Disney's Grand Californian Hotel and Spa; MousePlanet business, such as MouseAdventure weekends; or evenings out with our “Disney friends,” without the kids. On the other hand, the boys and I often visit during school breaks with dad at work. Years ago, when Disney California Adventure (DCA) first opened, we only had single-park annual passports. Our friends and fellow MousePlanet staff members actually took our son to DCA without us twice, before he turned 3 and needed his own ticket! Sometimes, our friends have babysat our kids at Disneyland while we have gone to conferences elsewhere. Visiting without the entire family goes both ways in our household.
Our children have grown up understanding that sometimes we go to Disneyland without them. They handle it without too much disappointment because we explain to them that they would be bored. They know that during MouseAdventure, we sit at a table all day or else we stand in the lobby of a store or attraction watching teams wander in and out all day, without riding attractions. They happen to think our Disney friends are the bee’s knees, so to some extent, they may be disappointed, but on the other hand, they usually eat up the attention they get from whoever is babysitting. As our eldest prepares to turn 13, we have a reservation to take him to his first dinner at Napa Rose, something he has begged us to do for years now, having heard stories from our dinners there.
Because of my experiences leaving the boys behind to visit Disneyland, I assumed that I would have no problem visiting Walt Disney World without them. In retrospect, it was harder on me than it was on them. In 2010, I visited Walt Disney World to participate in the Princess Half Marathon. I left Thursday morning and returned Monday evening. Thursday through Sunday, I spent time with friends from around the country who were also in town for the Half Marathon. I had three roommates to keep me company. Because we had just experienced our first trip to Walt Disney World just a few months earlier, I think my family handled not going with me pretty well.
My last day in Orlando, after my roommates and friends had left for home, I felt the guilt. There I was, alone in the Magic Kingdom. Alone. At Disneyland, visiting alone is no big deal because I can bring the boys back easily. It felt so wrong to be wandering around the Magic Kingdom without my boys. I suspect that I would have felt better if my husband were with me, at least. My husband, the entire reason for our family’s Disney fanaticism, paid for me to go to Orlando and yet, he stayed home to watch the boys. Sentimental as I tend to be, the sadness and the loneliness overwhelmed me. I suspect strongly that if Doc had been with me, I would have felt far less guilt. Like I said, the people who come take care of them in our absence, know how to shower them with lots of attention. Usually they spend their visits texting and Facebooking all the fun they have without us!
We are not Disney Vacation Club owners. We do not travel to Orlando nearly as often as most of our peers. This is not a complaint, I just mean to describe how infrequently our family gets to Walt Disney World. We have no idea when we may next return to Orlando. That day in Magic Kingdom, I felt sentimental about the whole thing. I was an emotional mess. Good thing I left to come home that day!
Would I go back without the kids? Let’s face it: I would. Now that I have earned my Coast-to-Coast medal for participating in a Walt Disney World Half Marathon and a Disneyland Half Marathon in the same calendar year, Doc would like to do the same himself. I will gladly send him off with a kiss to do so, but I would love to go with him if we could swing it! Every time the MousePlanet staff starts to plan another Walt Disney World event, I briefly wonder: Could I find a way to go, too? I suspect that before I return to Orlando, or before I return with Doc, we might have to find a way to get the whole family back again. Maybe. We’ll see how it goes.
It's your turn—keep the discussion flowing!
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